Acorns to Oak Trees

There is a small insert on BBC's CBeebies kiddies channel where they use the analogy of an acorn turning  into an oak tree with the line "growing together". I've seen it a million times, but yesterday it really got me thinking who my little "acorns" will be when they are "oak trees"? 

I guess it all starts with who they are now, and while I have tried to describe my boys separately in order to capture their uniqueness, at his stage I have not yet found the words to do so successfully.  They are both big, strong, beautiful boys who are sensitive, stubborn, charming, good natured, (mostly) well behaved, feisty, demanding, humourous, mischievous and active boys. I know there is something different about them but I have not been able to put my finger on it yet, let alone describe it in words.

I often think about who they will be "when they are big", and I have even gone so far as to have their names and birth dates done in numerology and their astrological charts.

Both reveal that Alex will be more of the leader - no surprises - but more puzzling is that while Alex is the male archetype, Robbie is the 'mother' archetype. More nurturing and philanthropic in is ventures. Its surprising because it is hard to see at the moment. He is such a high energy, wrestling initiator at the moment, its hard to see the nurturing side. But I guess it is there... This morning when I could not find my treasured Lunar linen kaftan, and was quite upset, Robbie said, "Robbie make it better, Mommy".  Too precious!

Next to my table at the coffee shop where I am typing this up, four old men are sitting, shooting the breeze, laughing and ... SMS-ing. I hope my boys grow up to be this old, still enjoying life and each other, and in touch with the latest techno advances.

I want, I want, I want!

My son Alex is four and he is heavily 'into' Ben 10. In fact, he was into Ben 10 "stuff" before he even really knew who Ben 10 was. Of course, now that he has seen an episode or two (or 20!) of the 10-year old Ben Tennyson, who is able to fight crime by turning himself into 10 different aliens by pushing a button on his outrageously large watch, he is obsessed. And there is no shop I can take him to where I can escape the Ben 10 clothing, toys, memorabilia... And every shop we go to has a new version of Ben 10 T-shirt, or a different selection of ultra cool toys. It has become a problem in our home! How does one deal with the instant gratification needs of a four year old?

Last term, I refused to buy him a Ben 10 backpack. It was traumatic as all his friends had one. I told him that if he wanted it he had to earn it. He spent a month earning it by staying in his bed until sunrise (6:30am - yay!) each morning. Every 7 days he received a Ben 10 "lucky packet" with a surprise alien figurine in. And after 5 aliens he received his backpack. The sense of achievement and pride was palpable. He radiated happiness. I couldn't have been happier! Now though, if I recommend earning a yearned for item, he says "No, earning it is too tiring! I want it now!" Of course, "no" does not go down so well and let's just say I have a very sad, petulant and feisty boy on my hands.

Just when I had taken the stance that enough was enough, Robbie, my two and a half year old, through sheer exposure to Ben 10's "cool factor" has fallen in love with all Alex's Ben 10 gadgets and figurines. Just this morning, they had a such a tussle over THE watch, that my husband, who cannot handle these altercations, begged me to please buy Robbie his own watch. So now, I am off to buy my two year old a Ben 10 watch that costs R250! How did this happen? I thought I had at least another year before Robbie fell victim to the same obsession as Alex!

Poor Sleepers

My dear friend Jo is having trouble with her youngest boy's sleep - he doesn't! I remember, without much fondness, I must add, how the first 2 years of Robbie's life were the same. Appalling! I tried everything I had done with Alex, but the same did not seem to work... I think the biggest mistake I made in hindsight, was to be too nervous of letting cry or moan even a little, in case he woke my hubby (not good!) or Alex, my older son. Now that Robbie is only two and a half, it seems like a distant memory, but it was just 6 months ago. It shows you how easily we forget, until we are reminded. Strength and patience to you, my friend. When you're in it, it's awful!

My Mr Men - Mr Impossible and Mr Adorable

My four year old son is being impossible! And I am at the end of my tether. My usually well behaved, obedient (for a four year old) and often disarmingly charming son has turned into a monster. Tears, tantrums and embarrassing displays of bad behaviour seem to be the order of the day. I keep telling myself "This too shall pass..." But, when?

On the other hand, my two and a half year old is being adorable. This, of course, does not help matters much. The other day we were driving past St Davids Marist Brothers school. The school is currently closed for the holidays and the pigeons were taking advantage of the peace and quiet to forage for goodies on the playing fields. Robbie said, "This Ali's (Alex's) school?" "Yes", I replied. "Naughty birdies," he said. "Why?" I asked. "Cos they playing soccer on the field," he replied with a grin. Alex and I roared with laughter. This age is so special. There is not much a child misses, even at the ripe old age of two!

My Top 10 Goals for this Blog

1. To provide a social networking site for mom's of boys to share their stories, challenges and 
2. To learn more about the "world of boys"
3. To better understand the highs and lows, opportunities and challenges faced by parents and caregivers of boys
4. To have at least 10 active and loyal followers and contributors
5. To express myself as a mother of boys
6. To chronicle the life and activites of my family and friends
7. To promote the beauty, wisdom, uniqueness of boys
8. To build an audience around the topic of boys
9. To elicit a wide range of excerpts and comments regarding boys that I may use in workshops I have under development and, ultimately, a book I'd like to write about raising boys in South Africa
10. To have fun! and be stimulated as a primarily stay-at-home mom

So, there they are - My Top 10 Blog Goals

Share your stories!

"One of the best things in the world to be is a boy; it requires no experience, but needs some practice to be a good one." Charles Dudley Warner

I am passionate about the world of boys. Now that I have two of my own, I am fascinated about their development, what makes them tick and when. What do they need most from their moms & dads, aunts & uncles, grandparents, teachers, coaches and peers? What can we do - one boy at a time - to break the cycle of abuse and rape against woman, bullying, inappropriate initiation headlines and to turn our boys into good men, husbands and fathers?

Please share your stories and photos about the uniqueness of your boys!

I'm so outta touch with girls!

Despite being a girl, having a sister and four nieces, since having two boys of my own, I have lost touch with girls. Yesterday I had to buy a present for a three year old girl's birthday party. I was lost! did they still like Barbies? At what age? Brats? Hannah Montana? The brands were all familiar but were they still relevant and at what age did they start and end?

Now, if it had been a boy's party, no problem! I am well versed in Thomas The Tank Engine, Ben 10, Spiderman, Superman, The Incredible Hulk, Cars, Graders & Trucks! 

When did this happen? When did I lose touch with the childhood likes and dislikes of my own gender?

The Wild Ones

Is it just me or are boys insanely wild? They seem to occupy every square inch or garden, house and playground! It reminds me of the following by Emile Rousseau:

You are worried about seeing him spend his early years doing nothing. What! Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play and run around all day long? Never in his life will he be so busy again!